If you just don't think the relationship is serious enough yet and don't wish your parents to make a big deal of it, some of the following instructions may be excessive. Consider how your parents may feel if you exaggerated the need for secrecy; they may feel disappointed and wonder why don't you trust them. Take risks prevention if you really go ahead.
It is recommended to be honest if you are getting caught. Once you get caught, more lies would only make you get into greater trouble, damaging a family relationship. As for dating relationship goes wrong or challenges comes, you will need great mental and physical quality to afford it without any support from your parents.
Communicate with your partner.
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If you want to pursue your relationship despite knowing that your parents will disapprove, let your partner know why you think that this is the right course of action. Your partner may feel less important and bring resentment to your relationship if you don't clarify your stance. The longer you hide, the more difficult it is going to be. For example, just because it is your first interracial relationship, it may not be the first time for your partner.
He or she may have practical advice to help you understand where your parents are coming from and, above all else, having her support can help ease your stress. Your partner may also misunderstand the situation.
Some people expect to be introduced at the start of a serious relationship, some are cool with waiting, and some do not wish to be introduced for quite some time. Consider the opinions of your parents. It may be difficult to hear negative opinions about someone you care about, but sometimes your parents may have a better perspective on long-term outcomes. Depending on your dynamic with your parents, they may have trouble articulating their disapproval. Relationships with parents can be complicated.
It may be difficult to be open and honest but keep your communication respectful so as not to escalate the situation. For example, while you may think that you are hiding your emotions, you actually may be coming off passive-aggressive or snarky.
Remember all healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and communication. Whether you are trying to strengthen your relationship with your partner or maintain the relationship with your parents, trust and respect have to be present for a lasting relationship. If you plan on hiding your relationship, ask yourself why sacrificing your parent's trust is the only option. Will your parents become physically or verbally abusive if they found out about your relationship? Your mental and physical health is your first priority.
Be mature. Your parents will always be protective so show them that you are old enough to handle the responsibilities of a relationship. Firstly, show your parents that you are responsible and can follow all the rules. If your parents think you are too young for a relationship, be on time, do your chores, and study. If you can gain your parents' trust, then your parents will soon realize that you are mature enough to handle a relationship.
Understand the risks of premarital sex. Parents often forbid relationships for fear of unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infection. Ensure that you and your partner truly understand these risks. There is a real possibility that if you are not prepared, and you do have an unwanted pregnancy or contract an STD, your parents may not be there to support you or just can't help you e.
Know that you should be respected by your significant other and that they should listen to your choices.
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Compromise is vital in a relationship, but this is one area where neither party should have to compromise their beliefs. Know that if you are eager to take the relationship to another level but your partner isn't ready, you must respect their choice. Never pressure your partner. Avoid PDA moments. Be discreet about your affection.
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You never know who is watching. A trusted friend may accidentally tell your parents in passing, not knowing that your relationship is a secret. Stealing kisses in public and other forms of PDA may seem harmless but remember that if your parents find out, they may think that your relationship has already crossed further into the intimacy threshold. Buy one new cell phone secretly.
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If it is possible to do so, owning a separate cell phone can help you in concealing information, but please remember that you must hide your new phone properly or you will be in trouble. However, it is not advised to do so. Delete the messages on your phone when you sleep or leave your phone unattended. It is recommended to delete partly instead of all messages because you may get suspicious if the messaging history is blank. It is best to use Incognito mode on a browser when you are online. Otherwise, erase browsing history after you have been online.
However, erasing browsing history may look suspicious if the browser history has never been erased on a shared device, but if you use Incognito mode, you don't need to worry about this.
It is also possible to use the masculine or feminine form of their name. For example, Brian becomes Brianna and Stephanie becomes Stephen. Tell your partner not to post anything on social media sites or send instant messages. If you have a social media account or use other instant messaging apps, your parents could check up on you or hear from someone else with access to your account.
Create an alternate account that you can use to be romantic with your partner. This is a handy tool when dealing with long distance relationships. Have a cover. You can ask a trustworthy friend to collaborate on stories for your parents if you're on a date. Such a friend can also be a great cover-up for phone calls or texts. Using them as an excuse if they don't agree to it is unfair to your friend. Hide gifts. It is best to hide all the gifts safely.
It could be at the outside of your home at your trustworthy friend's home, rent storage, your partner's home, etc. It is strongly advised not to keep the gifts at your home because your parents could find these gifts easily if they are intended and diligent in scanning every corner of your house thoroughly. You're going to draw attention from your parents if you suddenly lock your closet or room. You can also agree to treat each other to lunches or movies rather than giving physical gifts.
Prevent your friends from commenting about your relationship with anyone. Whether it's telling people in passing or posting on each other's social media pages, convey how catastrophic it would be if their innocent comment made its way to your parents. Social media can be especially dangerous because you never know who is connected to whom.
Ask your friends politely not to post any incriminating comments or pictures. It may be a wise idea not to let anyone take any pictures when you are in a group setting with your significant other. Use multiple social media accounts. The great thing about social media is that the larger sites are free. Set up as many accounts as you need to cover your tracks. Remember your password and only log on when using a device not shared with your parents.
Set up a shell email account. Not only would a fake email account be advantageous because your parents won't recognize it, but you should also use it to set up your fake social media account. Remember that your parents can search for you on social media based on your email info. Adjust your privacy settings on social media. All social media will give you an option to filter what information you share with the public.
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Go to the Settings Menu and set up your profile so that only you and your partner have access to it. You can also select a few friends to be able to view your profile if you deem them trustworthy. You will have the opportunity to filter your updates and postings so that you can block your parents from seeing. However, the best way to block your parents from seeing is not to post anything damaging at all.
Provide false information when creating shared social media accounts or when together in a public gathering. Remember that your parents can search social media sites via your date of birth, phone number, last name, school, or job. Don't make the mistake of creating a false account without ensuring every detail won't lead back to you.
Change your profile name completely. Don't use your middle name, your name spelled backward, or the name of your dog. Anything remotely close to you may end up giving you away in the long run. It's better to exercise extreme caution. Hide your emotions. If you get into an argument with your partner, try not to show your parents how angry or sad you are.
Don't emote in public for it to get back to your parents.
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